Well my last piece of artwork caused more impact and wide range of responses than I expected. I feel I have to clear some things up and correct some thinking.

First, It is not the rejecters fault (unless you are one of the first four, then I hope you die an ugly, lonely death)

I am sorry if you were hurt/offended people. I did not mean to imply certain people and apart from the first two squares, each square is made up of at least two different events/occurrences.

I also know it’s not always very pleasant for the person rejecting but once they have done it, they don’t have any invested feelings in it unlike the person that has asked. I don’t know about others but before I ask someone I have seen in myself if there is a possibility of any feelings for that person and if I want to know them better. That means when you’re rejected it never leaves you, you have set aside a part of your heart to them.  Even though it is not the rejecters fault that thought doesn’t take away the feelings you invested and they don’t go away for a long, long time if ever. When the next time comes to try and find someone else, all those fears, thoughts, feelings are still there so when one failure is piled on another with no healing, you start to die inside.

The squares also didn’t necessarily involve a direct ‘will you go out with me’, more often than not they were ‘would you like to get to know each other better’ to see if it was possible for a relationship so when your turned down from that it bites twice as much because you wonder if they want to know the real you or just convenient friends.

I am also aware that some things are my fault. I have been to much of a friend sometimes putting others happiness ahead of my own. I haven’t been persistent enough. I have asked in the wrong way (sometimes making it look like a joke). I have done something to upset the person. I do realise these things but even though I know that and may be able to correct them it kills me inside that I may have blown some of the very few (or only) chances that I have had. This is harder to show in the panels but it also rips me up inside.

Finally I didn’t mean to imply that friends that have tried to help me in the past didn’t help. Lots of you have been very patient and listened to all I have to say. However, they are still only words. When I first heard the words, “Don’t worry, you will find someone” when I was 19 (6/7 years ago) I might have believed them, now they mean nothing. A lot of the advice is pretty good but applying it is a lot harder. Sure people like happy people, but faking how you feel inside can only last so long. There is often only so much you can do but I guess at times I wish I knew proactive people that dragged me out when I didn’t want to or set me up with someone I might not be interested in just so it seems we are doing something. However I don’t know if I want to care for anyone anymore as the one I wanted I let slip and you can only ever take so much hurt.

I am sorry once again to all those people who may have been hurt in some way. I know it is hard as people think about themselves but try to remove all your thoughts, put yourself in my shoes and imagine the experiences that I went through and how you would feel after it all and what you would do and expect from others.